Casual Mention

I can’t say what I really want to

Because my life would be destroyed

But the background


Plays like a calliope

Calling to me

All it is is a casual mention

That’s the key to everything

All it is

Is a kiss of the truth

A tight rope walk on the blade

Sometimes all I write

Is bloody nonsense

It’s a nice touch

To distract

From the fact that I am

Silently admitting



The Dunes of this desert

Broken promises

To myself

Counting down the minutes

When I said the clock

Would never control me again

If only wishes

Were like this vast

Desert of hope

I traverse

If only they were the oasis
if only disappointment

We’re not like quick sand

But if only

Is only that

A wish not an oasis

There is beauty

In the dunes of this desert

Let my footprints show how far I have come


It still hurts to dream about you

With eyes so fantastically


To the truth

I only know

That California was never home

I only know that you were

The last thing drawing me back

But now I find myself homesick

Like I did on that drive in the dark

With headlights as guides

And my nerves on fire

Wishing I had just a minute to find

The words

That would make it all

Make sense

So here I am

Survivors guilt and secrets unrequited

Make a heady mix

I only wish

I could find the words to

Make it make sense

Through Blurry Eyes

If I was just a little luckier

When the cards revealed my fate

I would have learned this lesson



But that’s never been my style

With each step I took

I came to the conclusion

I live
to forgive

I’ve already been given more years

Than I ever thought I would have

I have been given more chances

Than I can count

But for all you taught me

I listened

When I could

And forgave

Your weaknesses

And my own

Through blurry eyes

I forgive


I have walked though a hall of mirrors

None of them are really me

I have written a thousand lines

And still I ask

Is this who I am?

My identity is shards

Broken pieces of so many things


I shouldn’t have made

Glory glowing in my hands

Secrets, slices, long sleeves

I’m frightened

And that’s okay

I’m a genius

And a fool

I’m frightened

But I know one thing

To be true

I’m not alone

Second Hands

A brand new day

A body of time before me

A corpse behind me

As if I am searching through the rye

Yet I have found

Life is sincerely second hands

Bringing everything around again

I survived for so long

A beggar

Starving on minutes

Till I became aware

That swallowing the poison

Was the only way to survive

I cherish aspects

Collected from ashes

I cynically smile at the grief

I cry as I relive it in dreams

But getting over it

Is nothing

Because your choice

Is a corpse

Or a body of time



They said

This albatross around my neck

Unable to sing my accolades

My ego merely a deception

I have walked with these crutches

For far too long

As I fracture

I speak


How dare it leave my mouth?


Fractures can be beautiful

And despite

My desire to hide

I would gladly rush into battle

For reasons worth believing in

Fractured is not broken

And I refuse

To give in

It would be so easy to give up

With my history

Clinging to me

And my arms wrapped

Around it like a lover

So easy

But I refuse

I have become stronger than that

And the only person

Who thinks I am a disappointment

Is me

No more

As I stare into this fractured

Looking glass

I will see the truth

My past is merely a shadow

I am stronger for it

And the truth is

I never thought I would make it this far

But fractured and lovely

I have