The Cadence of Self


Sometimes I can’t breathe from all the grief

The deaths that came

Piece by piece

On tip toe feet

In choices made

In words that fade

In places that lay

Beyond belief

And still my gallows humor

A hangman’s game

Is the only reason I can say my name

And still my smile is tactical

This bedlam remains practical

And I am damned and blessed

All the same

All the same

I am shy in this place

Are these secrets often told

Still worth keeping?

Is the dreaming

Worth the sleeping?

When closed eyes

Are peril so sweetly disguised

Every death was

Piece by piece

Shall mine be?

No.

I refuse to go quietly

So I breathe

And leave behind the grave

Nothing in this world can be saved

Unless it wants to be

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Addict of time


I wish it wasn’t like this

I wish I could stop counting the days

Down to the minute

Like an addict of time

I have a twisted

Nostalgia

For being

Out of control

I never knew so much

Responsibility

Came with being loved

I never knew

How fragile

And how forgiving

Hearts are

Until I broke them all

Then it was my needle and thread

That was able to mend

What I thought would always be a void

I walk on tip toe

I am quiet and unbearably still

I am open like the desert sky

I am secretive like the desert below

Counting

Forever counting

Tracking the minutes on my skin

Pushing all thought

Grabbing at the strands

That keep me tied to those I love

Counting the seconds now

Don’t give up

Someday

You will be fearless

Again

Before the Storm


I love the light before the storm comes

The dim

The almost sepia tone

That calls to me

I love the light before the storm comes

My electric refuge

My turbulent home

I love the light before the storm comes

When you can feel it

Like a chill on your skin

When summer gives in

And releases

I love the light before the storm comes

Like a kiss

A brushing of lips

Like hands pulling away

I love the light before the storm comes

For I belong