The Most Obvious Secret I Keep

I’m a catastrophe

Speaking in hyperbole

And worst of all

I want the world to listen to me

Because I can’t be

The only one who can see

I can’t be the only one

With this life sentence

Who has decided they are worthy

Of punishment

Of penance

I’m not the only one

Taking the easy way out

Because I can’t hurt others

But I can hurt myself

Someone once said to me

You wouldn’t recognize it if you saw peace

And I wouldn’t

I know passion

I know impatience

I know rage

And I know the love

That comes with a blank page

But I can’t equate

Living

With serenity

So here is another calamity

A chemical imbalance

A fallacy

Another extreme

That turns into an emergency

I beg for respite

But I will never take it

It will always be the height of ecstasy

Or the depths of despair for me

With bouts of terror in between

And sadly or perhaps not

I doubt I would change it

If I could

Don’t mistake this for unhappiness

Recognize

That it is the comfort

Of a damaged child

Who will never grow up

She

I have seen her falter where I thought she would succeed

I have seen her become stubborn

With a will like stone

When I had hoped

That she would bend

She is so mercurial

So unpredictable

Like the wind

Like the water

She is a summer storm

Only more uncontrollable

I say this even when

I call myself mercurial

She is a contradiction

Dark but sheltered

Brave but fearful

Rebellious but polite

I say this when

I call myself a contradiction

She wins

Which would suit her

Because she is sometimes

Needlessly competitive

She is a lovely mess

So am I

I wonder if

She will read this

And become angry or upset

Not realizing that

Although I see her flaws she is loved

Because we cannot hope

To hide our imperfections from the world

Whether someone sees one or many

They are seen

All that we can hope

Is that we will meet people

Who will see our defects

And still think we are

Worthy of their loyalty and love