Something Still Hurts

In the end
What I have the most of
Is postcards of pretty scenes
Written and signed to myself
Wishing you were here

If only my words were clearer
If only my wisdom was more effective
But I am running out of breath
And still not listening to myself

My identity spent so long in flux
I feel like I am just getting to know
This looking glass reflection
This stranger who comes to me

Tearing out her heart
Sewing it to my sleeve
Like tattoo needles on my flesh
Each needle prick
Has it’s respected place

Paint me black and red

Because I’m getting evasive again
Dodge and parry
Take one on the chin
Everything ends
Everything begins again

So I speak to the crowds that pray at my feet
All the girls I could have been

Something still hurts

This is just
Pain in progress

Carving Commandments

I’m tired
Tired of living this life
Sick from this psychotic addiction
Sign posts on a dusty road
But none of them direct me
These empty lands
Between me
And who I really am
I feel like a traveler
Wind whipping
Storms on the horizon
And no one
No one
There to guide me
Or protect me
Write it on a piece of paper
He says
As if I am carving commandments in stone
But you can’t trust me
And it’s me and me alone
Making these decisions
Like a flower that only blooms at night
I wonder if I will ever see the light
Someone take this burden from me
I am not the one who should be making the choice
However the choice is mine alone