Patchwork

There are steps we take

Closer

Further away

And I didn’t truly see the stars

Till the night was cold

And I was tattered

In a far away place

With no one to grab my arm

And steer me from danger

You were a whisper

And I thought 

As I walked that I wished

I could hear you

My twin flame

Who only suspected my secrets

I am all secrets now

There is no 3 am playground

For me to quietly hint

There is no unfeeling town

Where our feet smashed against

The pavement

There is only the dizzying stars

And moments that will lead me

To be

Patchwork deception

And fumbling fabrication

And as I try to tear away

This duplicitous costume

I wish that even in your cold judgment

I could tell you the truth

I wish I could make this mouth

Form the words at all

Because it hurts 

In the pit of my stomach

Missing you

And carrying this shame

11 days

My mouth was charcoal black

As I raved

I left that place

But never escaped

And oh how I craved

That nihilistic oblivion

The taste in my mouth

Blissfully numb

Destroying

Destroying everything

That secret self

The one I despise and exalt

The one who sleeps but not to dream

The one with the vicious tongue

And mouth full of salt

Dodging death

Dig it

I can play the game

Tracing back the patterns

On my doorstep lays the blame

11 days

Struggling

11 days 

One last chance

Amidst the pain and turmoil

I look upon myself and see

That blackened mouth