Don’t think I’m not waiting

For that move you are going to make

I was born of disorder 

And you don’t know the risk you take

The only daughter of a pit bull

Chaos in my blood

You think you can hold me down

I wish you would

I’ll revolt like a Riot

You better think twice

And hear what I say

If you make a move

It will make  my god damn day

I’ll smile at destruction

And you won’t be able to do a thing

I’ll caress discord as a lover

It will worship me as a queen

So test me

The consequences of my uprising

Is your penance  to pay

I will win the war

Even if you win the day

Fallen


I feel heavy

As if my limbs are lead

My thoughts are wet cotton

The only thing that filters through

Is blight and poison

I have fallen

From a dizzying height

But with every fiber of my being

I fight it

I count the days

Let it wash over me like waves

And avoid the deadly undertow

Because it’s simple

It doesn’t get to win

The vile times of the past

The torment of the nightmares

Never last

With every breath I remind

My constant family

My blood And my chosen

Have never abandoned me

I’ll never feel worthy

Even when I am breathtaking

But I am loved even when I am failing

I am doing my best

And little by little 

It will be enough

And there is beauty

In being loved

When you are fallen

Magic Incarnate 


I truly believe

No one is better at childlike glee

But there are these days

Oh these days

When the weight of the world

Causes my spine to Crack

Like this old man playing knick knack

When my eyes are blurred

And my focus slurred

Like a drug

That I don’t want to swallow

Denied and then crucified

By cruel chemistry

Redemption feels out of reach

Trapped but aware

Eternity is only a fleeting feeling

I will transcend

Redemption is at hand

My spine will straighten

And I will rise to redemption

Freedom is magic incarnate

And I will have it again 

Searching for the Wasteland


I tire of this cliche cinema

This silver screen has tarnished

This manufactured tension

Is nothing but shadow puppets

Give me a moment of golden silence

Let me savor that sweet afternoon

Light

Where the sun melts

And touches me like velvet

I want your hand on my knee

As we drive

With the open window breeze

I need to find a sublime wasteland

In the dark

Where the word alone

Is a prayer

Mark me with purity

Color me with ash

Give me serenity

So I may touch my lips

And kiss

The sweet dawning of the stillness

That let’s me listen

To my voice

Over the din of this trite

And hollow

Lamenting of this world

No Title Necessary 


Ever since seven years old the words began to call

In an instant I felt them

And my pen was in their thrall

They showed me there was release

From the rat’s nest where I slept on dirty sheets

Back then it was a matter of survival

Every time I faded the words were my revival

And now years later I’m a hit man

With ink

And when my head hits that pillow I dream

There’s a devil on my shoulder saying

These words are weapons when you spit

And the angel on my shoulder

Says go ahead you’re killing it

I never put much stock in fortune or fame

I was never lost in the you know my name game

Because the words will call

Till I end up in the grave

They’ll outlive this body and this name

So call me what you will

But call my lines unforgettable 

I don’t need a title to know

I am intangible

Drilling into your mind till you can’t forget

I have worked every second to get this legit

So forget my face forget me entirely

These words are my god

They are my immortality 

Doomed Patterns


These doomed patterns

Viscous swirls

That rip and tear

Like a disease

Preached like gospel

Sung from a choir

Taught like lessons

From the admired

Scrawled like knowledge

On the screen before me

Calling like

A warning siren

Hungry

In it’s devotion

I wish sometimes that I had 

Never heard

And could never listen

But these doomed patterns

Speak my language

Silver tongued

So I trace the spirals

And descend

Taking each step

In an agonizing

Slowness

It is the last 

Show of my will

That I do not run

To the nowhere

That I seek 

Divine 

And peaceful

In these doomed patterns

Shelf Life


My oppression came on tip toe

Insidious in it’s insinuation

It came softly

Softly

Until I was gently placed in

It’s thrall

Molded into a believer

All too willing to yield

To sacrifice 

To lay to waste

Everything

Before I even knew 

I was sleeping

In shackles

I was nothing but a shadow

In my own dream

Where I was eclipsed

By a pleasant nothing

Then as I watched the distant

Feeling of… love?

Slip away

Then reality hit

As strong as my chains

My body shrieked

As my mind went up in flames

Unlike the somnolent

Way that I fell sick

I clawed these walls

Till my hands were slick

With blood and gore

And determination

I would die if I gave in

I would risk death for emancipation

There was something important

On the other side

I could feel it’s substance

See it with my blinded eyes

I tore apart this blissful cage

I tore myself apart in my rage

Till I was nothing but scars

And regret

I stood at the edge

As I once languished on a shelf

I felt the pain

And found myself