Faith Unfounded

You’re shaking he said

I am not

I replied

The truth unfound in my mouth

The smell of fresh cut grass

Is my undoing

Trauma has tiny little teeth

That leave you with a thousand

Bleeding wounds

I am foolish to think

I won’t bleed to death

And yet I do

I do

I will survive

All over again

I stare at my wrists

And know

I am better than I was

I look in my eyes and

See terror unrefined

But I dismiss it

The emptiness inside me

Is a little less and that’s enough

For now

The Devil in the Details

I have redefined the word exhausted

And yet I don’t want to sleep

Because for once I don’t want to dream

The dreams of you

Enveloped in truth

And the dreams of the past

That I wish would come true

I just want you to listen

One more time

More fool I was in my youth

For not trying

At least one last time

It’s deviant how things fade

It’s devilish how things stay

With wet eyes

I see all

And i hold dear even the worst

And I die inside

Because too late I realized

You were the one that tried

Normalcy

It’s the normalcy that gets to you

Then the reminder is like a stab

Of sorrow

Grief comes to us all

Mourning is universal

And yet

Like a picture pose

We are looking into a mirror

But not seeing ourselves

We see shadows and memories

Regrets and relief

You never really know what loss is

Till it comes to you

In waves

In a daze

In normalcy that turns to sorrow

I never held grief in my arms

Until I did

And then it grasped me back

And became part of me

In the cup of coffee you made

In the phone calls you don’t receive

In a place where nothing is everything

It’s the normalcy that gets you

When you realize

Nothing will ever be the same