Glorious Mistakes

Sharing moonlight
With the silence
Alone with my
Wishful thinking
If only I could
Learn my lesson
From the price that I pay
I suffer and writhe
Caught up in
These glorious mistakes
Wanting for somewhere
To place the blame
But I am myself
Reluctantly grown
And spitefully mature
So the mirror
Is my nemesis
Reflection is my
Ally and my enemy
These glorious mistakes
That keep me awake
A prisoner
Without dreams
But still I care
Still I love
Still I pour
These words onto
The page
Like a heartbeat
Constant
Until it isn’t

Untenable

The secrets I will
Take to my grave
Tree stumps
And an addiction
Unspoken
I lock them
In a hope chest
The lock unbreakable
My dreams
Are inexplicable
My wishes
Untenable
Still I hope
Still I carry on
I am split
I am whole
I am turmoil
From too long
Reviling in trauma
But I deny
I will overcome
Slipping
Between
The backwards
And the forwards
Gently
I am myself
I am slippery
Pretending
That I don’t care
When truly
I care too much
I place myself
In-between
Love and care
Overwhelm me
My nature
Canny be denied

Walking

Walking in
The middle of the night
Beneath a black sky
My feet heavy
My head hanging
I can feel
The weight
I can feel
The drugged discord
What a lovely
Place to be
What a glorious
Morning
That will come
I am a puppet
Who has
Cut it’s strings
And I can feel
Every slash
Impulse flows
Through me
I am numb
And I am
Alive
Beneath the
Black sky
I play at
Recklessness
Let it chase me
But never
Stop to
Be adored by it
Tangling
My fingers
Hand in hand
With intuition
Feeling every
Tingle of
Perception
The night owns me
But I
Am alone
With introspection
My favorite
Place to be

Players on the Stage

The things I’ve cast aside
Like memories
Too painful
To recount
Like friends who became
Lost
Too lost to bring back
But most of all
My previous selves
Which I shed
like the skin
I never wanted to be in
The liars
The sleepwalkers
The thieves
The lost souls
Sad and mewling
The players on the stage
That is my psyche
I deny them
I embrace them
I heal them
Selfishly
So they can no longer
Touch me
With hands
That hold too tight
Begging for life
And a place in the sun
No more
No more will the past haunt me
No more will
I take the damage
That they have done
It’s time to rest
Time to recover
Time for
A wholeness
Previously thought impossible