Second Hands

A brand new day

A body of time before me

A corpse behind me

As if I am searching through the rye

Yet I have found

Life is sincerely second hands

Bringing everything around again

I survived for so long

A beggar

Starving on minutes

Till I became aware

That swallowing the poison

Was the only way to survive

I cherish aspects

Collected from ashes

I cynically smile at the grief

I cry as I relive it in dreams

But getting over it

Is nothing

Because your choice

Is a corpse

Or a body of time

Fractured

Broken

They said

This albatross around my neck

Unable to sing my accolades

My ego merely a deception

I have walked with these crutches

For far too long

As I fracture

I speak

Honesty

How dare it leave my mouth?

Nonetheless

Fractures can be beautiful

And despite

My desire to hide

I would gladly rush into battle

For reasons worth believing in

Fractured is not broken

And I refuse

To give in

It would be so easy to give up

With my history

Clinging to me

And my arms wrapped

Around it like a lover

So easy

But I refuse

I have become stronger than that

And the only person

Who thinks I am a disappointment

Is me

No more

As I stare into this fractured

Looking glass

I will see the truth

My past is merely a shadow

I am stronger for it

And the truth is

I never thought I would make it this far

But fractured and lovely

I have

Hands Aligned

There is a Pandora’s box inside my head

With memories long since dead

Yet they creep and crawl

And howl to be let out

It is only the strength of those I love

That struggle with me

To keep it shut

So if you want to throw a punch

Aim carefully

We are a family

Brothers and sisters in arms

And nothing is going to hurt me today

The twilight

The sunrise

My most treasured times

When all is silent

Even the creatures in my soul

And all I hear is heartbeats

Telling me to go on

I am stronger than I know

Oh how I love

Every hand that aligned with mine

Precious every one

Another Step

The clock ticks

As I avoid these thoughts

Defeat

Disappointment

Each breath I take

Creates my story

And I will not let

It be defined

I will not let it be eclipsed

By this shade

I will wallow in faith

And embrace

Every false step

Because with these lessons learned

I’m better than this

I won’t hold back tears

I won’t deny myself

I am loved

I love

That’s enough

To take another step

Shaking and terrified

To take another step

With which eyes

Light a candle

Now light another

Let the fires of your mourning burn

Light one for every death

The past forced down your throat

Light one for every hysterical

Tear you cried

Light them all

And let them burn

Then when they have become

Wax and Ash

Realize you cry for the journey

But embrace the path

The lessons learned

The smiles found

The pain that taught us

Never to repeat

The past is a trickster

Who dances with fire

And speaks with a silver tongue

Realize most

it does not need

Your love or hate to be

It always has and has always been

All we can do is choose

With which eyes to see it

Stained Glass

I find on nights

When the moonlight shines

At just the right angle

That I am a stained glass window

For you have to under stand

My anger is Mercury

It’s flash and fire and rage

But it dies

It perishes

With not a flourish

It dies in the dead air stillness

Between heartbeats

My forgiveness is bought and sold

By the sound like ice cracking

By the rending and tearing of my soul

With bleeding fingers

I reassemble

I am a mosiac

You are forgiven

And as the light shines through me

I am radiance