The Nihilism and the Optimism

I am restless
As I watch the grief clothed youth
Scream their anthems
As if they will matter
In another generation’s time

But that’s the capriciousness of youth
Gluttons for tragedy
They build on generational trauma
As if it’s in their cells

They gleefully giggle at the void
Abandoning this world for a new one
But is it ever really new?

I shouted my own anthems
And draped myself in the maudlin
I laughed with the abyss

I just hope they fail well
The nihilism and optimism
Passed down

Bittersweet

I’m eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and crying
Because
Raspberry jam reminds me of when you could still smile

I’m thinking about how the good die young
And what a sickening idea that is
And yet it crawls into my bones

I miss you like butterflies in sunlight
Bittersweet and free

The very core of me resonates with every song that makes me think of you

So I am crying
Big tears dripping from my cheeks
Sliding down to my lips
Falling from my chin

And I am thinking of you
Smiling

Little Rabbit

I used to look at you like a little rabbit
A harmless boy who lived in my pocket
The very first soft boy I would ever love

But then…
I remember how young I was
And how old you were
And I hear breaking glass

I see girls that she now
And I want to protect them so much
Do you know why?
Because they are children

I was so torn when I realized that

If they are children
I was a child

You were not

Regardless of your self deprecating image
Despite your hapless appearance

That charmed my father so much

The damage you did resides in those decisions I make
When I see the child I was