Still Smiling

I smile like I know where the bodies are buried

I carry myself like I am the one that put them there

But it’s true my trade is not in strength

But in raw and viscous vulnerability

I won’t apologize for that

And if I can’t look you in the eyes

It’s only because I am breathless

With the intensity

There is no escaping the skin you are living in

Even as I try to transcend

Every inch of skin crawls

I’m just as scared as I have ever been

But Still I smile like I know where the bodies are buried

And I carry myself like I put them there

It’s as if I’ve been marked

Marred in a way that everyone can see

But the secret we all keep

Is that almost all of us feel that way

Close to the vest or worn on your sleeve

Somehow we all tend to feel

That everyone is bound to leave

We aren’t worth it

Security is scarcity

And we are just waiting

For someone to prove us wrong

But that’s not going to stop me

From smiling like I know where the bodies are buried

And carrying myself like I put them there

Disposable

I am beginning to feel

That we are the flotsam and jetsam

Of humanity

We are the most tragic discrepancy

We are failing

To believe
We turn our backs

Only to be stabbed

Then, in shock

We scream

The moving pieces

Have seized

And I don’t want to listen anymore

I want to riot in the streets

Not play in an echo chamber

Of those who say but not do

Games are useless if it’s happening to you

But I’m just another burnt out

Child prodigy

My hands only move for

Prose and poetry

Still I believe

This nightmare

Can become a dream

If only everything was not disposable

Beginning and end

I wish I could change the past

I dream of changing the path

What I have seen

And my memories

Play hide and seek

They toss and turn

In their sleep

Cracking the parts of me

That I cherish

If only I could give up

You are not worth fighting for

I wish you were

But you cut me open

With rusty saws

Slick with the blood of those

Who came before me

So when am I next?

A burning bridge

Where we stand on opposite ends

Who will ignite first?

Because I can’t close my eyes

Anymore

I can’t pretend

That you are not my beginning

And your end

Generations Bleed

I’m watching this on

Repeat

Repeat

Repeat

Repeat

Generations

They bleed

So few of us break free

But now I am seeing

The shackles in place

The locked door

Of a rusty cage

And I dream about it each night

Wishing my mouth was not

Stitched shut

Once, twice, three times a blight

And I am calling my bluff

I advise

I try

But nothing is enough

Take my hands if the will heal you

Take my eyes

If they help you to see the truth

But my heart remains

Far away

Upon the page

Never for you to touch

This is your doing

And you’ve done it too much

For me to ignore

I keep showing you the door

But you’ve lost the key

Generations, they bleed

Fleeting

I am flying now

Running from

The death

I once coveted and pursued

It gave me pause

When it stopped

And embraced me

When it courted me

We like macabre lovers

Until I broke it’s bones

Until I crushed it’s empty heart

Until I reached a place

Where my old friend death

Let go

Now I live a life for purists

Knowing that safety

Is only an illusion

But so easy to

Take advantage of

I am nostalgia

And post traumatic stress

I have seen so much

And still these eyes yearn to see

I am crushed

As I lay with a crown

Of nothing

On my brow

I am proud as a queen

In shadows in-between

But fleet footed

My body automatically

Dancing with each obstacle

I will not take you back, my love

Not this time

The places in-between

I’ve seen too much

To not love

I’ve seen too much

To not fight

The spite given to me by blood

But your words are hollow

And your breath wasted

Waiting

Always waiting

For the newest fascination

To fill what is barren

Inside of you

What was passed down through

Generations

Of disposable people

Who abandon

At will

I have seen too much

Not to love

But I cannot love you with

My whole heart

When this all plays out on repeat

Bits and pieces are all

That you can have of me

I am so sincerely sorry

As I see you begging to be understood

It is my understanding

That leaves you

In-between
In a place I keep

Those I cannot love with a whole heart

Faith For The Faithless

Searching beneath these moments

For a brief respite

Faith for the faithless

Mercy for the merciful

I want to coax a riot

I want a rebellion

I want to resist

This skin that I am in

Mindless mumbling

In voices raised like a choir

Singing to deceive

What’s the next

Story

To keep us believing

I am an agnostic through and through

I am a question mark

Marked like a place

That they tried to erased

But I left myself on the page

Where is the faith for the faithless?

It’s in every voice

It’s in every time we say no

It’s in every time

That we are discontent

With less

Than love

We are the Mercy for the merciful