Listen to the Stars

In the winter darkness

Alone in my room

I listen

I wait patiently

In what many consider silence

For the siren’s song of inspiration

It begins

The molecules swirl

The sparkling stars

Explode

And become new again

As they sing

In a language of creation

In the music of unity

In the lyrics that remind

We are all stardust

I reach out

To touch them

I put my fingers to my lips

I can hear their tinkling laughter

As I taste my dreams

Their mirth comes with wisdom

Because they know my dreams

Are not night things

They are not the nonsense

That my mind plays while I sleep

My dreams are trusting enough

To say I love you

My dreams are of a family

That says

Here, you are home

My dreams are of the innocence

In my niece’s eyes

That reminds me of my own

My dreams are of my fearless nephew

Who reminds me

That beauty exists

When you don’t let the world

Tell you who to be

The stars laugh and play

Giggle and tease

They know my dreams

They know they are coming true

And every time I feel the gloom

Overwhelm me

I listen

And they sparkle

And explode

Each spark

A glimmering token

Clever Deception

My heart is refusing to beat

I am trying to force myself to think

My head is filled with thoughts

But it is not my voice that speaks

It is the shadow that dwells in the badlands

That leaves footsteps of ink

That follow only me

That whispers that time only means

The death of dreams

It is the nightmares

It is the fatigue

It’s the creature on my chest

That won’t let me breath

It is the father of lies

The guardian angel in disguise

It is the specter

That is a thief

That takes the best part of me

It is the mother of deception

Clever in its invisibility

So the battle ensues

It’s me against this ruse

All I can do is deny

All I can do is fight

The killing fields are all in my mind

I am outnumbered

I am brought to my knees

But the killing blow belongs to me

Because patience is the weapon

That always wins the fight

The moment you whisper

I can make it one more night

The secret weapon of mass destruction

Is knowing

Depression lies

Fey

I stood upon a precipice

I felt the wind on my face

I stood and thought of oblivion

I sought oblivion

As so many of us have before

It whispered to me

Seductive secrets

It assaulted me

With lovers caresses

I breathed in its scent

And I remembered

It drew me close

As if to kiss these lips

But I whispered back

Not this time

Twisted with disorientation

Enveloped with fear

Still I found my voice

Not this time

I have been the villain

I have been the antihero

And as broken down

As tired

As exhausted

As jaded

As I have been

I have a secret

So few know

A piece of the brief innocence

I once knew

A patch I wear like a badge

And even in the grimmest moments

Even in the murky darkness

Of this strange land we call reality

I have hope

I believe

I remember that I am loved

And the oblivion washes away

Because I am protected

Switchblade Duality

 

 

Our hearts are beating

Like clocks unwinding

Our minds are dulling

Like blades too often used

The constant commotion of emotion

Leaves us spinning

There is life and death in our words

As we stand upon the precipice of reality

The pain of existence

Making us run

The pain of existence making us stay

We cry out in joy

We cry out in agony

And sometimes staring at the ceiling

We wonder what the point of it all is

Is there truly nobility

Or just a grasping for attention

Is there truly independence

Or just illusion

Is there peace?

Is there chaos?

But one thing I know

Is that we are human

Flawed and aching

We are human

Beautiful and ephemeral

Fleeting

Magical

Gilded Cage

How frightened I am of the quiet

All the moments we fill in with silence

And the hours I spend in stillness

I yearn in desperation

For voices

For conversation and laughter

But too often these things morph

Into resentment

And soon become judgment

That leads to anger

That leads to a vileness

On our lips

Where comfort is lost and voices are raised

Comfortable silence

Passion in battle

The desire to be right

In misguided attempts that we know best

Protection through aggression

Words that spill forth waiting for their turn

And a small voice

Barely heard that suggestions

That perhaps we should try to listen

Hubris

In our knowledge

Only because there is faith

Faith that we see trough

These eyes

That you could be better

Faith through these eyes

That you see the lies you tell yourself

Years spent

Only to find how different you are

Only to find

Those differences

Mesh perfectly

Bring support

Bring empathy

I hate you

You loathe me

And beneath it all

Leaving is not an option

Hold me

Never let go

Turmoil

Creates an Us

We create a life

Perfection is overrated

Perfection is nonexistent

In friendship

And kindship

And love

Passion is the spark

That ignites

What we are looking for

Trust

Understanding

Love of all kinds

So cry out

Openly weep

Take the biggest risk

And wear your vulnerability on your sleeve

Dare to give them the power to hurt you

Dare to give them the power to pick up the pieces

The Sound of Listening

 

I spent my formative years shouting

Shrieking into the wind

Screaming my desperate pleas to be heard

Because I was horrified by the sterilized world I was in

I was selfish

I was scared because I couldn’t understand the silence

I sought out those willing to speak

I sought out those willing to say

There is something terribly wrong

We flailed about trying to figure out

What we could do

Too many of us got so lost

That we chose being numb

Over trying to change the world

Then we grew up

Our passion for changing the status quo

Became kids who ended up domesticated

‘And the generation who refused to take sides

Quickly divided

Knowing that the side they had chosen was right

Social media emerged

Cute kitten memes

And political propaganda

Then it grew

Racism

Sexism

Homophobia

Xenophobia

The leaders of this country engaging in Twitter wars

#AllLivesMatter

#HilaryforPresident

#Trumpforpresident

#Idontunderstandtheissues

The comment sections are wars fought

Behind the screen of anonymity

Where we let the worst of ourselves

Type the hatred

As we all fall in line

Everyone wants to tell their story

Their one sided story

They complain that the other side refuses

To consider any side but their own

In this endless static

There is only noise

Because the one thing I am yet to hear

Is the sound of listening

In my youth

I begged for someone to speak

I begged for these problems to no longer be ignored

I never predicted that talking about them

Would divide everyone

Into us against them

I never predicted that we would

All forget that we are human

And unity is our greatest power

But the powers that be know that

And they divide us so that they may conquer

I miss the naivete of my youth

Back when I thought that these things would never happen

In my generation

So here I sit

I have taped my mouth shut

Because no one is listening

They are not even speaking

They are attacking

We are at war

But we are our own

Enemy