Esoteric silhouette

You can’t trust me
My secrets betray
If you only knew my story
You would lose your place

I am a muse
I effervesce
I am a silhouette
Non-tangible
Esoteric

Shielded
But breaking free
Open
But and filled with dread

How do I speak?
When knowing myself
Is so misleading
I am bleeding
To see if the bloodletting
Will rid me of this

I still don’t have all the facts
And these facades
Are nothing
And the are completeness
The choices are limited
I struggle against them
I leave myself
In truth
Or trying
To be who I should be

Traveler

There are things
You think
You escape with age
But time sometimes
Rips opens wounds
As we travel to the past
Or make the future
A catastrophe
A somnolent insomniac
I remember the moonlight
I see it now and it burns
So charmingly
And sings to me
Like the lunatics of old
It reminds me
That time
Is not always linear
And I, myself, am a traveler
Yet still
I am wading in a pool
Of failure
Real or imagined
Swimming in a childhood
That bled
Constant reminders
I crave sleep
In the distance
I hope to find myself
Worthy
In the present
I am only naked
To the moonlight
It makes me remember
It lets me forget
If only
If only forgetting was easier
No recurring dreams
No intrusive thoughts
Like knives in my hands
I have to remember the now
I have to be tethered
Beneath the glimmer
I am alone
Because I force it upon myself
Silence
This will transition
So will I

I have my sacrifices

Counting down
Wasting time
That is not actually wasted
Going through days
Golden
Hiding from the glow
Self sabotage
Like a religion
Where I worship
At my own bloody feet
I am a god
So why do I feel so powerless?
I miss the discord
Where I could thrive
I hold my breath
And make a wish
That control didn’t matter
That I had no one to disappoint
That my life was not
Just hope
Breaking
That minutes weren’t so
Painful
Because it’s the minutes
That really kill
When you can’t bear
Yet another one passing
But I will remember
I am a god
I have my alters
Therefore I have
My sacrifices