I can’t say what I really want to
Because my life would be destroyed
But the background
Music
Plays like a calliope
Calling to me
All it is is a casual mention
That’s the key to everything
All it is
Is a kiss of the truth
A tight rope walk on the blade
Sometimes all I write
Is bloody nonsense
It’s a nice touch
To distract
From the fact that I am
Silently admitting
Everything
Broken promises
To myself
Counting down the minutes
When I said the clock
Would never control me again
If only wishes
Were like this vast
Desert of hope
I traverse
If only they were the oasis
if only disappointment
We’re not like quick sand
But if only
Is only that
A wish not an oasis
There is beauty
In the dunes of this desert
Let my footprints show how far I have come
It still hurts to dream about you
With eyes so fantastically
Open
To the truth
I only know
That California was never home
I only know that you were
The last thing drawing me back
But now I find myself homesick
Like I did on that drive in the dark
With headlights as guides
And my nerves on fire
Wishing I had just a minute to find
The words
That would make it all
Make sense
So here I am
Survivors guilt and secrets unrequited
Make a heady mix
I only wish
I could find the words to
Make it make sense
If I was just a little luckier
When the cards revealed my fate
I would have learned this lesson
Easier
Sooner
But that’s never been my style
With each step I took
I came to the conclusion
I live
to forgive
I’ve already been given more years
Than I ever thought I would have
I have been given more chances
Than I can count
But for all you taught me
I listened
When I could
And forgave
Your weaknesses
And my own
Through blurry eyes
I forgive
Iconoclastgrey Word Artist 