A poem entitled A crisis of self


A Crisis of Self

Sometimes I ask myself why it matters all

To try, to love, to care

Only to set myself up for the inevitable fall

Every interaction is a risk

And my chances rarely if ever are in my favor

So I ponder my wrists

And taste that copper flavor

The one that comes with powerful fear

Even with those I hold so dear

An introvert with a need to connect

A contradiction with a noose on my neck

But I struggle and gasp

I stray from the path

Looking for a way in or a way out

Living in the twilight of doubt

I beg and I plead

When no one can hear me

Tears fall unnoticed

On this page

Tears of pain, loneliness and rage

And no one knows

That they all come from love

Am I unlovable or unable to love?

Is every effort I make just not enough?

Questions, questions endless questions

And the answers eludes me

Even as I sit at these keys

Knowing that this is the best of me

But still wondering

Always wondering

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One comment on “A poem entitled A crisis of self

  1. Gwen Burson says:

    There is value in recognizing one’s own value. Questioning it forever will probably prove disconcerting and counter-productive and harmful as it may not allow recognition of happiness and success when it appears..

    Like

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