I know that I am being told lies

But I can’t stop listening

This blade is against my skin

This noose is around my neck

And I just want it to stop

A pipedream if there ever was one

Because here comes another crisis

Taking poetic license

Turning reality

Into a tortured aberration writhing

A horror beyond description in writing

I am screaming and shouting

And abandoning resolve

Until into tears I dissolve

I sob and weep

Until I am too weak

To do anything but sleep

And in come the nightmares

Like a parade of clowns in Hell

Here come the closet skeletons

With hideous secrets from voiceless throats to tell

Close your eyes

And deny

That they exist

It will work for a minute

Until you feel their kiss

What a sweet lover is madness

They call it acceptance

I call it giving in

To the desperate hands

Clawing at my skin

You don’t just say I am broken

And that is my fate

No, if you are me

You rage

You beg

You do anything to change

Only to spiral down again

Only to feel that noose again

And loathe the sickness

That is your curse

I can never tell if the cure

Or the disease is worse


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