Darker


Streams

Darker

I am pacing, pacing, pacing.

Retracing footsteps I have walked before.

Why must I be the greatest danger to myself?

Oh my reflection,

You are razors, steel, and dangerous things.

And you have become a frozen creature.

Move, I beg you. Move!

How dare you stay trapped by your own devices.

How dare you drop and ignore your own talents.

How dare you tarnish when you know you may shine.

Why do you sleep when the waking world is no longer a danger?

To sleep to dream even as your dreams are coming true.

How I hate you, only to love you.

Is it comfort or punishment that you deserve?

Oh my frightening hands,

Empty,

But only imaginary.

Filled with the intangible.

Potential. Love.

Do not forget that you were meant to fight.

To do battle with your words.

They are your greatest asset.

So why do you stay so still?

Damn you, it is only a first step.

One stumbling foot in front of the other.

Why do you hide when you know you are best exposed?

You are trapped in the snarling jaws of fear.

Ruminating.

Stagnating.

But why?

Can you change the past?

Alter time and never lose control?

Inward you scream,

Leave me alone. Leave me alone!

Yet outside you strive for a condition

So contradictory of what you have become.

After all,

Who are you if not that filthy word?

In all your passionate refusals

That you are not the victim,

You have become the prey.

Who are you if not the disease?

You thought you knew

But now that thought tears

A cynical laugh from your throat.

It is everything you want that leaves you terrified.

It is that which lets you heal what freezes you in place.

The intellectual.

The reason addict.

Yet in your shade of grey

You are irrational.

To see others as puzzles,

Only to refuse to turn

Those intuitive eyes upon yourself.

Hypocrite.

Exhausted.

Weary.

But why?

You dodge the answer deftly.

Even now your breath catches.

Do not speak of it.

Let not the whispers be answered.

Just destroy yourself in the silence.

If there is always a choice,

Why is this what you choose?

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One comment on “Darker

  1. Reblogged this on kiraburton and commented:

    iam reblogging this today because I just got my first poem published and this is iy! I am overjoyed! Thank you Amydala!

    Like

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